Ladies and gentlemen, students of this fine institution, I have a bone to pick with you today. I want to talk about something that has been bugging me for years. Why do dogs cry at night?

Now, before you start throwing bones at me, let me clarify that I’m not talking about a sad dog whimper. No, no, no. I’m talking about those full-throated howls that can wake up the dead. You know what I’m talking about – the kind of howl that makes your own dog perk up and start barking back like he’s auditioning for American Idol.

Now, some of you might be thinking that dogs cry at night because they miss us. But let’s be honest, folks. We leave our dogs alone all day, every day, and they don’t howl then. In fact, they’re usually snoring away on the couch like they’re auditioning for a doggy remake of The Big Lebowski.

So, what gives? Well, after extensive research (which mostly involved me sitting on my porch and listening to my neighbor’s dog howl at the moon), I’ve come to a conclusion. Dogs cry at night because they’re trying to tell us something.

Think about it, folks. Dogs have incredible senses. They can smell things we can’t even imagine, hear sounds from miles away, and they can even sense when we’re sad or upset. So, when your dog starts howling at night, it’s not just to annoy your neighbors (although that’s certainly a bonus). No, your dog is trying to communicate with you.

Maybe they’re warning you about a danger they sense nearby. Maybe they’re trying to tell you they need to go outside to take care of business. Or maybe, just maybe, they’re trying to sing you a lullaby because they think you’re having trouble sleeping. Okay, that last one might be a stretch, but you never know.

So, the next time you hear your dog crying at night, don’t just roll over and try to ignore it. Take a moment to listen, to really listen, and try to figure out what your furry friend is trying to tell you. And if all else fails, just buy some earplugs and hope for the best.

In conclusion, folks, dogs are mysterious creatures with a language all their own. And while we might not always understand what they’re trying to tell us, we can certainly appreciate their unique voices. So, let’s give it up for our canine friends and their nocturnal serenades. Thank you, and goodnight!

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